Almost all of us have experienced loved ones who come and go within our lives. This could be a best friend who you have suddenly lost touched with. Maybe it happened suddenly or gradually. The one person in your life who you could be yourself around and who you trusted completely is someone you barely speak to or never see anymore. You might have lost someone deeply important to you via a death. One day this person was the spark of your life and the next day they are gone, unexpectedly and you still cannot understand how they were taken from this life so early.
Or maybe you just met someone and the connection was so strong. Sure, you didn’t have a history but you felt like this friendship was going somewhere great and then you just don’t hear from them ever again. Maybe your friend has moved and you never hear from her anymore no matter how hard you try. Or maybe a family member who has always been your role model and inspiration has dropped off the map and you just cannot get in touch no matter how much you try. Maybe your friend has suddenly become toxic in your life and you cannot be in each other’s lives for your own health and wellbeing.
Loved ones come and go and that feeling can be painful. You might not even realize what happens until you think about this person and realize it’s been months and years since you have spoken with them. Even though you may be sad that this person is not in your life, there are reasons people come into our lives and leave just like that.
Every person you meet teaches you something about yourself. The people you meet will provide you with life lessons that you need. Each person provides you with a variety of experiences, some good and bad. Even the bad experiences are necessary for lifelong learning. You might have learned how to value yourself because of a bad relationship. The lesson of letting go can only happen through saying goodbye to someone you love, either through death, a horrible breakup or a toxic friendship. A person has the potential to teach you how to love, or how to forgive or introduce you to a passion in your life. The people you meet on your journey through life help you realize your potential. Think back to all the people who used to be in your life but are now not. What lessons have you learned from these people? How have you grown since that friendship? Even in the most negative ending to a relationship, there is always a lesson to be gained. A person can have the ability to change your perspective on life, show you how to be courageous, or to show you that you are worth much more than what that person was able to offer you.
Relationships aren’t permanent so we must appreciate our relationships while they last. One of the most difficult lessons I’ve had to accept was that every relationship we have is not permanent. Eventually people will take a journey that takes them away from you or people will die. Although this can be a tough reality to accept, especially when someone leaves you unexpectedly and you are not ready to live a life without them, you must come to terms that no relationship is permanent. That’s why it’s important to appreciate all your friends, family and loved ones and fully embrace the moment that you have with these people. Offer a quality relationship with your loved ones. Be present when you are with them. Take time to appreciate your loved ones whenever possible. Nothing in life is permanent but there is nothing stopping us from loving the people we adore in the best way that we can right now.
Every person you meet helps you move forward. Life is about moving forward. As mentioned before, nothing is permanent in life. As a result, you must continually move forward, make the best decisions you can today and open yourself up to new opportunities and experiences. When you meet someone new, that person can help you move forward through this chapter in your life. You must accept that reality. No matter how strong the connection or how meaningful that person is to you, that person helped you move forward through this chapter in life. Maybe you messed up in your past relationship and lost someone you love but never appreciated them fully. You realize through this experience that you need to move forward, make changes and learn from your mistakes so that you can be a better partner in the future. Accept that and move forward. Sometimes life brings us back to people but it’s important to not focus on the what ifs and continue moving forward. Whatever your situation, now it’s time to move forward and not look back. Life will be different without that person in your life, but it’s important to keep going and get through the next chapter of life.
Leaving can sometimes be for the best. In some cases, people need to leave for you to grow. I remember when I moved for college, it was so hard saying goodbye to friends I had in high school. Part of me wanted to hold onto these friendships, some that started during childhood. I had great memories with these people. However, as the years in college progressed, I graduated, started my career and so forth, many of these high school friendships became virtually non-existent. A couple of these friendships were people I had once called best friends and now we were practically strangers. Truthfully, although it hurts to recognize their absence in my life, I realize that we grew apart. I wish them happiness and success in their lives but we have nothing in common anymore. And that’s not a bad thing. You might be taking leaps in your career, traveling around the world, going back to school again or pursuing your passion with ambition and excitement. If these people were back in your life, you might realize that these people would have held you back. There might still be a connection there on some level, but you have moved on. There is nothing left in common. Even if you tried desperately to find something that you both can share, that might not be possible. Although it can be very painful to say goodbye to a loved one, keep in mind that your lives may not be compatible anymore and your growth would be limited, if not non-existent, if you held onto them.
A person who leaves you can make you appreciate your true friendships. Sometimes people who come and go can really make you identify and value your best friendships. I have lived in different states and now live overseas. Many of my friends back in the United States have been long-distance for over 4 years at the time of this article. What moving has made me realize is that some friendships stick no matter what, while others eventually burn out. Use this time to appreciate the friendships, family and loved ones who have been there for you and never left you.
Life is a journey and along the way you will meet many people. You would not be who you are today without those relationships, good or bad. Appreciate the lessons you have learned from those people and focus on loving the people who have always been there for you.