The Downsides to Distrust

By | June 3, 2012

Some of us are able to trust people naturally while many of us battle with issues that revolve around being able to trust others. Unfortunately, it’s likely that someone will eventually take advantage of you or compromise your trust. Your trust can be compromised multiple ways. Someone might be by stealing your money either through scams or fraud, or someone might be lying to you, or you might find out that what you are buying is truly not what is being promised to you.

Angry BunnyI will be honest and admit that I am a person that is not very trusting at times. I’m sure my lack of trust has saved me from some scams but it can also hurt my relationships or make me not have as much faith in people. My lack of trust is partially from getting hurt in the past. There were quite a few important people in my life who hurt me in the most awful ways, and mainly because I gave them so much of my trust or placed myself in a position where I could get taken advantage of. It’s been a long battle to have more trust in others and to not be so afraid of getting hurt.

So whatever position you are in, I want to clarify that trusting others is important. It’s okay if you are battling trust issues, but it’s not okay to live a life not trusting others. You will never be able to have strong and meaningful relationships or friendships without learning to trust. You may miss out on wonderful opportunities by not having more faith in things or people. It’s important to let go of the people who are clearly distrustful but just as important to give others a fair chance of having your trust. I doubt anyone wants to live a life full of distrust and suspicion, right?

The following questions will hopefully make you understand the importance of placing trust in another, and why it’s a better choice to not always be overly suspicious of others.

  1. How do you react when others don’t trust you? It doesn’t feel nice to play the part of the person who doesn’t trust easily, but often times we forget how hard it is for another to deal with our distrust. Imagine a loved one didn’t trust you. How would that make you feel? I know that I would feel more insecure about that friendship, might be offended, and be suspicious of the other person. Overall it would have a pretty negative impact on me. Have you considered that your distrust of another might be hurting someone else? You are not the only one impacted by your lack of trust. It may seem alright to distrust someone, but keep in mind that it may hurt another person and could dramatically decrease the quality of that relationship.

  2. How do you react when others trust you? So you meet someone new and see that they trust you. Whenever this happens to me, I have an easier time liking this person and wanting to be close to them. Seeing that they trust me makes me feel good and helps build my confidence that this could be a positive relationship, whether it’s a friendship, romantic interest, or a salesperson. I have higher respect for this person, and it makes it easier for me to be more open with that person. So keep this in mind when dealing with issues of distrust. You are more likable when others get the sense that you trust them. People you care about will genuinely appreciate the amount of trust you place in them.

  3. Is there a correlation between trust and the quality of my relationships? Think about all the people that bring joy into your life. Who are your best friends? Who are the people you think are reliable? Are there any stores or companies that you are loyal to? Do you trust all these people? You tend to have the best relationships with the people you trust. Having trust is necessary for a very positive and meaningful relationship.

  4. Do I give off an attitude of trust? When you first meet someone, how do you usually act? A long time ago, I used to be the type who was very closed. This was due to my lack of trust in other people. I had a tough time opening up to others and I think it was fairly obvious to people I met. As a result, I ended up not making many friends. I realized this and decided to be more open and welcoming to people. This does not mean that I divulged every intimate detail about my life, but I certainly learned to give everyone I met the benefit of the doubt. I divulged some information, and gave that person a chance with my trust.

  5. Do you give a person the chance to be trustworthy? It’s easy to be distrusting when you don’t give someone a chance to earn your trust. Trust involves risk and many times you will be pleasantly surprised when taking that risk. Be honest with yourself about if you are actually giving people a chance. It’s easy to view people and companies as distrustful when you don’t open the door for someone to win your trust. Look at your own actions and try and understand if you approach people automatically assuming that he or she is trying to scam you, take advantage of you, or is someone distrustful. Being aware of the amount of times you show someone distrust, will help you to become more knowledgeable about being more open with others.

  6. Are you actually having a good balance between being overly suspicious and blindly trusting? I want to clarify that this article is not trying to encourage you to not exercise discretion when interacting with others or to simply blindly trust someone. The point of the article is to make you realize that you need a healthy balance. You cannot enter a relationship assuming someone is distrustful and constantly reliving past mistakes or acts of distrust. You cannot be waiting for someone to prove that they are unworthy of trust. When entering some form of a relationship, you have to give people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t assume that they are people who you cannot trust. Definitely use caution when meeting new people, but be optimistic and hope for the best. Striking this balance is integral for being able to trust another in a healthy manner.